I live in Japan. I have an iPhone. I speak/read/write Japanese, but my primary language is English. Here's how I store Japanese people in my address book in iPhone.
- First Name: family name (since this is used first by Japanese)
- Last Name: personal name
- Phonetic First Name: family name in kanji
- Phonetic Last Name: personal name in kanji


With this method, the Japanese name is visible in kanji in the main contacts list, but is listed alphabetically by the romaji version of their name.
Not sure how this will work with Voice Control in iPhone 3G S though...
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